Monday, July 20, 2009

Phoney Baloney



Hey Bloggers, or at least whoever could be reading this blog posting. As I find myself here staring at this crumpled up, worn out and ripped ten dollar bill, I find myself wondering is this one of those why did I get out of bed days. For the love of money is the root of all evil, and while some have coveted after, they have pierced themselves through with many arrows, or something like that the bible quote goes. And on this day I happen to find myself in receipt of a counterfeit ten dollar bill. That's right, a genuine fake phoney baloney money counterfeit ten dollar bill to be found somewhere in that city of New York and possibly beyond here on planet earth. And how do I know it's counterfeit you may ask, maybe? After two other merchants told me when I tried to spend it, that's how. And I guess I should have realized it was phoney baloney money when I saw all of those black marker marks all over it that seems to be used for phony baloney money these days and times. And what the heck am I supposed to do with this new found debt that's not even an I.O.U. What does it mean to be on the receiving end of counterfeit money? Has that ever happened to other people? Can I call up the Department of the Treasury and Federal Reserve and ask for a refund. Is there an internet I would like my money back guru to answer this question. And I must admit, I have had many a utopian, fruedian or whatever it can be called visions of having one of those do it your self make your own money photo copy machines in my living room, photocopying free money away, though that hasn't happened yet. And if money really grew on trees, that would be great. And if money were free, that would be better. And if money were not even required at all as a part of existing in this world on planet earth, that would be even better. And so back to that phoney baloney dollar money bill again, What the heck can I do with it, if anything. Do I hide under a rock and try and pass it along to some other unsuspecting person to buy and sell, do I throw it away, or is there somewhere I can call to ask for a refund for things like this. And in my paranoia hereafter, I am liable to inspect every bill for foney baloniness that passes my way, and what a major task than can be. And so somewhere between the subway and a lower Manhattan merchant on this day, I find myself asking myself this question. And I can not figure out for some reason who and which merchant I could have received this phony baloney dollar bill from to backtrack where it may have came from in that city of New York, as memory seems to be passing me by on this day. And oh, by the way, the following is a blah blog post I posted this blog a while ago:

Introducing the Newly Designed USD $100 Bill

This news just in. So there was this discussion yesterday about the the newly designed $100 bill with security features for counterfeiters that will be introduced to the world. Is it 1984 yet? Look at this twenty dollar bill, analyze it, then look at this 1,000 Switzerland Croner Bill, analyze it and tell me what you see? Do you see any design features that would be counterfeit? How does it's texture feel? The United States Treasury will be introducing a newly designed $100 bill that looks similar to foreign money and food stamp money in its design with so many busy design features, it's sensory overload. Is the US Treasury able to stay one step ahead of the counterfeiters and their photo copy machines? Are these new designs to counteract counterfeiters or to compete with the European Union or something else? Their mission is to introduce a new program campaign with slogans to "educate"consumers about counterfeit money. There will be patriotic images on the bills, the Statue of Liberty, the Liberty Bell and of course the Eagle. There will be slogans of "If the bells ring, it's the real thing", meaning if the hologram images of the bells are not appearing or disappearing correctly when one tilts the bill, turn your neighbor or yourself in! or "Tip the Strip", meaning that if the five silvery shiny encoded holographic bars with 000's in it running across the bill do not appear, disappear or reappear correctly, turn yourself or your neighbor in immediately! Or if the faces are just smiling funny, turn yourself or your neighbor in. Why does this campaign remind me of the NYC MTA, (New York City Metropolitan Terrorize it's subway riders Association) with those pre recorded "If you see something, say something" and "If you see a suspicious package say something", and random bag search campaigns? Do I now give up my civil liberties in the name of security? Does not this instill fear into people to turn everyone against each other? Is this a civil liberties concern for the masses? A job for the American Civil Liberties Union? Is my job now to be a fraud counterfeit money detective every time I receive a dollar bill? Must I now start washing, dipping, stripping, wringing, drying, tying and spying every dollar bill I receive? I never really pay much attention to fraud counterfeit money, I am too busy spending it. Isn't that the store merchants job to check for counterfeit money? As I see merchants holding my twenty dollar bills up to the light and writing on them with markers all the time as if they are looking for something every time I buy something. This is not the first time the dollar bill has been redesigned, I should be used to it changing colors every year by now. Money is now being marketed and $100's are the new $20's. And how should the US Treasury present this campaign? Who should represent the campaign? Oprah Winfrey, the elderly, the common person, the US Treasury? Should the campaign be advertised on bus stops, posters,subway platforms, television, radio and telephone booths? Can the US Treasury just simply publish photos of the old currency before its redesign and after its redesign as it has done in the past? And for what reason is counterfeit money such a big issue? Will paper money ever be obsolete? Isn't plastic credit cards and identity theft the big issue these days? I am still a fan on the one dollar bill. It is the only currency that has not been redesigned over and over. And what does this have to do with a No Police State? Have a great day.
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